I can't do this anymore
I've spent the past year not feeling like myself.
How does it get like this and how do I let it happen for so long? Where did the compromise come? How far am I off track? Why did I think it was okay to sacrifice my feeling of self? How did it happen?
It's going to take me a long time to sort that out.
But the first answer is money. I did it for money. Honestly.
Some sense of security. But now it's sort of crashing around me.
Not all skills that you have are good to use forever.
I've spent the past year in a job that I can do. I can do it.
Does it bring me joy? Does it help me bring others joy? Is the challenge enlivening?
No.
You can't sacrifice yourself and who you are and expect to not hate it.
What do you actually want to do?
Want to do. Want to do.
Not have to do.
"This is God's word on the subject: 'As soon as Babylon's seventy years are up and not a day before, I'll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.'"
The future you hope for.
I've been setting that aside for quite some time. Making excuses for why it's not yet.
What are your excuses for not going after the things God promises He already has planned out?
It's worth reevaluating.
Do you feel like yourself?
Do you know what that would be like? To be so full of joy and peace because you're functioning in what you were made to do?
I know what it feels like. But I haven't felt it for the past year. And now it's time to get back to it.
