MORE THAN NORMAL: living the life we're called to

I have always been a very vision-oriented person.

Pretty much always.

I'm looking for my next goal constantly.

I'm a queen of projects. (Now, finishing them is another thing.) I'm a sucker for a great idea. I love ideas and potential and the fact that thoughts can start in our heads and then materialize into something that actually does affect people.

I've always had to have a project to work on, something to do- not just to keep myself busy (no, that's too small a goal, honestly). I've had to have a project to work on that took all of me. That I could pour myself into.

But for the past 6 or so months, this subtle question has slipped into my daily thinking, and I think it has been to my detriment.

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I just live daily life like everyone else does? People just go about their day-to-day life content to do, well... whatever. Why do I have such a drive in me that's sometimes so annoying? Why am I so discontent when I'm not doing something that takes all of me? Shouldn't I just get on with life and not feel this way? Is it just because I'm young? Will I grow out of this feeling of having to do what I'm passionate about and not settle for less? Why can't I just live daily life and pay bills and have that be enough?

Because it's not enough.

And the way of the world-

the part where we learn how to just survive-

isn't what we were made for.

"Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles." (Romans 1:22-23)

Now, I haven't worshiped a reptile recently or ever,

but I do know some things that I have worshiped.

People. And their opinion of me.

Being "normal" (whatever that is).

Having people like me.

Having enough money to pay for things on my own.

Fitting in.

Looking like an adult or like I'm not naive.

In the past six months, I've been attempting to exchange the unseen glory of God- the brave fearlessness, the audacious faith that makes me tremble in my boots when I think of the immensity of a good idea God gives me-

I've been trying to trade that

for normal everyday life.

And that's not okay.

Because that's not how I am called to live.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles.

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus,

the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

For the joy set before Him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinners

so that you do not grow weary and lose heart."

(Hebrews 12:1-3)

Let us run- with perseverance- the race marked out

for us.

I'm not called to your race. And you're not called to mine.

But we are called to be the "cloud of witnesses" for each other- we are called to cheer each other on in our races and to do great, audacious, bold, naive-and-faith-filled-looking things to shame the wise in this world who don't depend on God and who, instead, assume they've got everything figured out.

Dependence on God

sometimes looks a little crazy. And a little childish. And always not normal.

And somehow I think I forgot that. I forgot that faith will never go with "making sense." Faith will never fit into my expectations for life.

God wants to give me more than normal.

And I shouldn't trade His plan for anything.

#race #perseverance #lifetothefull #normal #discontent #jesus